Sorry

I don't know how many times one is supposed to say they are sorry. I do not know how much space is enough space. When can it just be good enough?

It goes good...

It goes good for awhile and then a melt down occurs and sets it all back. It takes everything I have to find peace at the end of the night when this happens. It makes us feel crappy between each other and then there is enough silence to make you uncomfortable. I am thinking a shower and then a little light reading to end this all.

A new me!!!

I am working hard on a brand new me! I am working out and eating better. I want to look in the mirror and feel good about myself. I actually wore a lower cut top on New Years...it felt kinda ok. I am working on it.

She is going to leave me

My daughter is 5 and she tells me all the time how much she misses her father and wants to go to his house. His house has no structure and no rules to follow....so of course she wants to be at his house. Why do I have to be the bad parent for making her follow rules and to become a good person? I do not want her to chose him over me. This is already having an affect on me. What do I do? I love her so much and cannot live without her being with me.

I can't

I can't win. It makes no difference what I say it is taken as something else. I repeat back what you say and you are done with me. Today is a loss.

I have messed it all up

Only a hscf can mess up being helpful. Leave it to me to be that person. I cannot even help without it looking like I am trying to control it all. Apparently I am more messed up than I previously thought I was. I am afraid of what will happen next...

ELG

So she has two things working against her; she is five and she is autistic. We cannot and should not expect her to really understand that what she is doing and what she is saying is hurting our feelings. To allow a five year old to hurt our feelings is a bit silly when I think about it. WE are the adults...not her. I know that she will tell me that she hates me and not really mean it. I know that she will do things to purposely piss me off. She is a child and that is what they do.