She is going to leave me

My daughter is 5 and she tells me all the time how much she misses her father and wants to go to his house. His house has no structure and no rules to follow....so of course she wants to be at his house. Why do I have to be the bad parent for making her follow rules and to become a good person? I do not want her to chose him over me. This is already having an affect on me. What do I do? I love her so much and cannot live without her being with me.

I can't

I can't win. It makes no difference what I say it is taken as something else. I repeat back what you say and you are done with me. Today is a loss.

I have messed it all up

Only a hscf can mess up being helpful. Leave it to me to be that person. I cannot even help without it looking like I am trying to control it all. Apparently I am more messed up than I previously thought I was. I am afraid of what will happen next...

ELG

So she has two things working against her; she is five and she is autistic. We cannot and should not expect her to really understand that what she is doing and what she is saying is hurting our feelings. To allow a five year old to hurt our feelings is a bit silly when I think about it. WE are the adults...not her. I know that she will tell me that she hates me and not really mean it. I know that she will do things to purposely piss me off. She is a child and that is what they do.

Pain

I have had a headache for literally 5 days and counting. I cannot make it go away. I do not want to keep asking Keith to massage my neck everyday, but it seems to be the only thing that helps me through some of the pain. He does so much for me already, I feel guilty being needy over something. Maybe it will go away on its own...

Patience

I need to find patience for myself. I am always so high strung and never allowing myself time to get things accomplished. I am always just wanting myself to get everything over with and done quickly. My anxiety has been on the up rise over the past few months. I cannot seem to find things that make me relax. I am so tired of being and feeling so wound up all the time. I need patience to get through this.

Hope

I can only hope that you have faith in me. I can only hope that your love for me is strong enough to be patient with me trying to fix whats broken inside me. I can only hope that my love for you will show through daily and that you never have to question how deeply I care for you. I can only hope that you will be my forever.