Ummmmm

Is it bad that I am really ready for my family to just move already? I just want them to go so I can deal and be done with it. I will see them in five weeks and that is ok with me.

Changes

So I always seem to be stressed out. I think that I would like to try and benefit from yoga or something. I need to learn to relax!!! I need to embrace change and maybe be more accepting of my life right now. I am learning to let go a bit and rely on my boyfriend for monetary support for the time being. I am doing everything within my power to financially change my life. It is a slow process, but patience will pan out in the long run.

I hate myself tonight

So as a parent, I know that we mess up. Sometimes we mess up bad. Tonight, I had one of those nights that I wish I could erase. My little one had an autistic nightmare of a temper tantrum. I went and lost my mind and was a scary mom. I said things I wish I could take back. I spanked and I screamed. I lost my mind! Like I said...I hate myself.

I want more

I love my job, but I am underpaid for my services and what I have to offer. I feel like I am at a crossroads because my place of employment has turned into more than just a job. It feels more like a second home here. I really need to start focusing my energy and telling myself that it is just a job and if there is more out there, then eventually I need to learn to let it go.

Introducing the high strung control freak

So I am finally coming out to the world and announcing that I am a high strung control freak and I need to learn to relax! I have been this way for 28 years now and I am tired of being me. I am the parent to a 5 year old autistic child. My life has not always been easy, but there are people out there who have it worse than me. I consider myself one of the lucky ones.